


Enjoy This Moment, Babe

by ackermagg



Category: PRISTIN (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2019-09-15 20:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16940559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackermagg/pseuds/ackermagg
Summary: Nayoung does it all for them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am in no way suggesting the events that occur in this story are actually happening to the girls in real life. These are not speculations--just fictional depictions.
> 
> Setting: Idolverse. Story takes place sometime after the announcement of Kyla's hiatus but before the Pristin V subunit was revealed. 
> 
> The title taken from the English-translated lyrics from Pristin's ''Be the Star''. Songwriter Yehana (and Pristin OT10) needs to make a comeback. Description tagline is inspired by Pristin's ''Over N Over.'' 
> 
> This is how I'm dealing with the Pristin drought. (So clearly, not well).

Nayoung is a leader. Nayoung is _their_ leader and Minkyung doesn't consider herself one at all. Because Minkyung knows she's the mother of the group. Kind and nurturing rather than responsible and guiding. Prefers to be supportive over assertive. Minkyung wants the best for everyone. But Nayoung actually goes out and does it. The 'sub-leader' position is only a title by name and not by nature and Minkyung is more than okay with that. A leader needs followers anyway. (In a way, this makes both of them the perfect rookie idols).

Minkyung returns to the dorm after an individual practice. She's greeted by the familiar sight of Nayoung studying at the kitchen table. Nayoung's the only one still taking college classes during their extended hiatus. (She's both realistic and restless. Everyone knows that idols hate being idle).

Minkyung is too hungry to make proper conversation. All that's left of her focus is being spent on boiling water for ramyun. And looking for some of that cola she _swore_ she bought and stashed in the back of the fridge a few days ago. She eventually locates it. After pushing past jars of green smoothies (Yaebin's), half-empty bottles of chocolate milk (Siyeon's), and the strangest find of them all: a bottle of soju still in the packaging. With Nayoung's name scrawled across the box in black marker. 

More than half of the girls now can legally drink but rarely do. Minkyung's the one with the best alcohol tolerance the one who drinks the most often. (Which isn't very often. Only every couple of weeks--whenever her ''normal'' friends are back in town). Minkyung likes drinking. But she usually doesn't buy alcohol that she doesn't plan on drinking right away. And this particular brand of soju is pretty high-quality stuff. So of course, she has to make this discovery known.

''Andong? I didn't know you had such expensive taste, unnie. Did you buy this yourself?''

Nayoung's reply is easy. ''It was a gift from a fan. Package got here this morning.''

Well, that can't be true. The only packages that arrived at the dorm that day were some clothes Kyungwon ordered online. And Minkyung checks the group's mailboxes at the company building almost every day out of habit. Excluding Jieqiong, none of them have received anything from fans in weeks. (They're not upset by this. Honest. They don't want their HIghs to reward them for doing absolutely nothing). Minkyung doesn't know why Nayoung's lying about a bottle of soju among all things. But it's definitely not worth having a confrontation over right now.

So Minkyung just laughs it off. ''You have some generous fans.''

''It's midterm season. I think the fan's a student too so they're probably suffering just as much as I am right now.''

Minkyung doesn't ask her how can a student possibly afford such a gift. Instead, she clears her throat loud (and obnoxious) enough for Nayoung to look over. Then Minkyung holds the bottle up to her face (ignoring the harsh chill), flashes her most charming smile and 'the eyes that you'll fall for' until she receives an eye roll in response.

''Yes, we can drink it together sometime this weekend,'' Nayoung sighs. ''But you have to ask the other girls if they want to join. And tell Siyeon that she can't sneak any.''

''You're the best, unnie!'' Minkyung cheers in her most aegyo-filled voice and chuckles when Nayoung doesn't even spare her a glance.

Because Nayoung has her secrets, and Minkyung can respect that. 

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

But the truth is, Nayoung isn't as secretive as she thinks. Everyone knows she's up to something. They just don't know what. Slowly, surely, things begin to add up.

There are the mini skirts and skimpy dresses clinging with perfume and stale cigarette smoke. Siyeon finds them balled up in Nayoung's hamper almost every week when she does the laundry. One night she even discovers a designer handkerchief with some important-looking logo embroidered on the corner. Siyeon's smart enough not to ask Nayoung about it. And smart enough to tell Minkyung.

Or how Nayoung's cut back on the late individual practices. But still manages to be the last one back to the dorm every night. Yewon often wakes up to the front door unlocking. Nayoung then pulls her off the couch and nudges her into bed. Any of Yewon's sleepy questions are waved off with promises of talking more tomorrow. But Yewon usually forgets to ask the next morning. Nayoung never reminds her. When she does remember, Nayoung just tells her that she's saying nonsense.

And for the first time in years, Nayoung actually changed the password on her cellphone. Sungyeon tried using it once to order delivery. (Nayoung was in the bathroom at the time. And Yaebin promised to fork over $20 if the food arrives undetected). Her scheme ends up locking Nayoung out of her phone for twelve hours. But Sungyeon helps reset the device and only gets a lecture from Nayoung about respecting people's belongings. Nayoung still won't tell anyone the new password. Or the unknown number that's sending her all those KakaoTalk messages.

The new wardrobe, the mysterious late-night outings, the flood of texts from an unnamed contact; it all makes sense.

Nayoung has a boyfriend. And she's dating him in secret.

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Eunwoo's padding out of the bathroom one night with bleary eyes and bumps into someone. She flips on the light switch with an apology already on her tongue. She sees Nayoung standing before her in a wrinkled party dress and ripped stockings and a change of clothes in hand. Hears Nayoung whine at the harsh fluorescent lights flooding the hallway. Smells beer and vodka on her breath and faint cologne everywhere else.

Eunwoo's about to ask when was the last time the older girl drank water but gets distracted. By Nayoung's bloodshot eyes, an open cut on her lip, and deep, deep bite marks on her collarbone. She takes Nayoung's hand and leads them back into the bathroom.

Eunwoo helps Nayoung out of her dress, and Nayoung helps by trying not to wince at every slight movement. Then Nayoung waves off Eunwoo's offer to help her shower. And so Eunwoo is stuck sitting on the toilet but not for its intended purpose. At least she doesn't feel forced to make conversation--the pipes creak and groan when the shower is being used. Maybe she should figure out what to say when Nayoung's finished. Eunwoo knows she's not the greatest at consoling people. She's too hesitant with her words. Talks too fast and stutters too much. Yaebin's much better at this stuff; she actually reads books for fun.

Nayoung steps out of the shower stall. Eunwoo carefully drapes a towel around Nayoung's body, patting her dry while avoiding pressing too hard on the purpling (and a few yellowing) bruises littering the girl's skin.

''For once I'm glad that we're not doing any promotions,'' Eunwoo mumbles. ''The poor stylist unnies would have a stroke trying to cover everything up in time for broadcasts. You'd be trending on Naver for sure.'' She pauses. ''Actually, maybe that'd be a good thing,'' she chuckles. ''The public needs a reminder that we're alive.''

The sound of poorly concealed sniffles brings Eunwoo out of her musings. Alarmed, she looks up and sees Nayoung's eyes pooling with unshed tears. Shit.

''Ah, I'm sorry unnie. I was just talking to myself. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean it,'' she stammers. Her fear of silence paired with her lack of tact is almost admirable at this point. She can never be quiet. Why can't she ever be quiet?

''It's okay.'' Nayoung's not even looking at her. She's staring at the floor like it's something interesting.

They get Nayoung into her sleep clothes with little issue. A fresh towel is hanging off her neck and Nayoung's clutching at the ends in a white-knuckled grip. Eunwoo guides her to sit on the bathroom tile, back against the wall. Eunwoo steps away for a moment; turns the shower on to full blast before joining her. She pulls the older girl's legs over her lap and tucks Nayoung's head in the crook of her neck. 

The pipes rumbling back to life give Nayoung permission to finally sob.

They stay seated like that for some time. Eunwoo's t-shirt gets soaked with tears and bathwater. She's humming some random tune and rubbing slow circles on Nayoung's back. Eunwoo doesn't say a word until Nayoung's pretty much all cried out.

''Unnie, there's no boyfriend, is there?''

Nayoung slightly shaking her head against her chest is her answer. Eunwoo's mind flashes through fuzzy sequences of Nayoung getting grabbed off the street or the subway platform. But then she remembers what they do for a living.

She thinks about the jokes the girls and her would crack about being ''unemployed''. The cathartic rants and tearful confessions in the dorm about their company, their careers, their futures. How they should just take initiative. Go out busking and pocket all the change. Buy a bunch of lottery tickets. Convince a sibling to marry rich. Search online for any lonely and wealthy long-lost relatives. Sure, there was always that _one_ other option. But none of them ever said it out loud. Because it's too true of a reality for girls just like them in even worse situations. They're fortunate enough to not know anyone personally that has to live like that. 

Well, until now.

''Have you--are you seeing--do you have--'' she can't even get herself to say the damn word. ''Do we have one, unnie?''

Nayoung shakes her head again.

''More. More than one.''

It's Eunwoo's turn to cry. She takes it with her two tiny hands.

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kyungwon is currently outside, casually freezing her ass off next to Nayoung on a park bench in the middle of the damn night. And doing her best to shovel ramyun noodles into her mouth. Despite her gloved hands being too shaky to hold the chopsticks. Though that might be due to her building buzz more than the cold. Nayoung bought them beers earlier.

Kyungwon didn't even feel like drinking at first (or leaving the dorm at all for that matter). But Nayoung stumbled through the front door after an appointment, giggling about wanting to 'take an airwalk' (whatever that means), and Kyungwon wasn't dumb enough to let the girl run around Seoul unsupervised.

''Unnie, how was it?'' Kyungwon winces at her phrasing. ''The appointment, I mean. How was the appointment?''

That's what Nayoung's been calling them--appointments. 

''Fine,'' Nayoung hums between bites. Her slurping is oddly dainty. ''As fine as it can be, I guess.''

''Are you hurt?'' Kyungwon searches Nayoung for marks as though her glassy eyes can see under the leader's coat.

Nayoung shakes her head. ''This one was pretty gentle.'' She punctuates this with a dignified swig of beer. ''But kinda weird. Never talked directly to me. Or said my name. Or even some other girl's name. Like they just wanted someone and I just was there.''

''That's kinda like being an idol too,'' Kyungwon mutters to herself. She scowls at her now-empty bottle. It only took two sips for her to slip into philosopher mode. She's such a lightweight it's downright embarrassing. 

If Nayoung heard her psychobabble, she doesn't show it. ''Is i' so bad that I jus' wan' s'meone to wan' me?'' Her words are slurring together now but the thoughts behind them are clear and distinct. ''Like, not want me 'cuz they _want_ me. But want me 'cuz like, they want _me_ , y'know?''

''No,'' Kyungwon immediately says. But one look at Nayoung's ~~adorable~~ pout sends her backtracking. ''Wait, I mean yes. Or no. No and yes. No as in like, it's not bad to want that stuff. Yes like I get it and I know that you know that I know--''

Nayoung's soft laughter floats through the air and the sound settles somewhere in Kyungwon's chest. ''You're so cute. Already stuttering after just one beer.'' She cuddles further into Kyungwon's side and wraps both arms around Kyungwon's one. ''So cute.''

Kyungwon feels her cheeks burn.''How drunk are you right now?''

''Drunk enough to say all this out loud,'' Nayoung chuckles. Drunk Nayoung's voice is rough and teasing ~~and really hot~~. ''Sober enough to know what I want.''

And then Nayoung presses even closer. So close she's practically in Kyungwon's lap. The armrest is digging into Kyungwon's hip. Kyungwon can feel buzzing in her veins. Feels her heartbeat thumping in her ears. She tries _and fails_ to stop picturing the black dress Nayoung's surely wearing under her coat. And then everything underneath that dress.

Kyungwon blinks and Nayoung's face is now only centimeters away from her own. Nayoung's breath is warm as it hits Kyungwon's lips with every exhale. '' _Kyungwon-ah_ , do you want me?''

Kyungwon has always been terrible at lying. Especially to Nayoung. Nayoung knows this too. And maybe she does want Nayoung. Lots of people do. Lots of people _definitely do_. 

Fuck.

Kyungwon really, really, _really_ doesn't want to be anything like those people. 

''I just want you to be okay again,'' she finally croaks out. 

Kyungwon scrambles to her feet, tosses their trash away, grabs Nayoung's wrist, and tugs them down the street with a harshness she didn't even know she possesses. She uses her other hand to scrub at her eyes because dammit, she can't be both the Philosophical Drunk _and_ the Crying Drunk in the same night. 

Nayoung lets herself be dragged and doesn't say a word. But then Kyungwon whips around (a bit too quickly, a bit too clumsily) to ask if they have enough money for the bus ride home. A startled Nayoung immediately flinches away, screws her eyes shut, swings an arm up to shield her face; a routine well choreographed and practiced. And Kyungwon suddenly feels sick.

Sick enough that Kyungwon throws up right on the curbside. Fuck, drinking really isn't her thing.

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yaebin is a light sleeper. It has nothing to do with how loud or quiet her roommates are being at the time. An ant could crawl into the room and Yaebin would probably hear it.

She's just naturally observant. And that's why she can never fall asleep right away. It's like she's always on alert. On the lookout for something that might not even be there. Constant vigilance and all that.

Once upon a time, Nayoung was the opposite. (Keyword: was). She used to be able to sleep at any time; in the blink of an eye. Quite literally. She could sleep anywhere. Even standing up. Or in the middle of a sentence. (Kyungwon still swears she once saw Nayoung practice choreography _while sleeping_ ). And now? Nayoung is just as much of an insomniac as Yaebin, and that's just another item to add to Yaebin's ever-growing list of ''Things that Kang Yaebin Thinks About Too Much and End Up Losing Sleep Over.'' (The title is still under construction).

It's common for Yaebin to wake up at the bedroom door opening and a shampooed-and-conditioned Nayoung shuffling inside at an ungodly hour. On the nights Nayoung notices Yaebin stirring, she usually just whispers a ''go back to sleep.'' But Yaebin stays awake. This is the only time she lets herself blatantly ignore Nayoung's words and the only time Nayoung lets her. She watches Nayoung read her bible, under her phone light. Watches until Nayoung looks over and says, ''good night, Yaebin'' in a tone equally fond and firm. That's Yaebin's cue to fall back asleep to the sound of pages softly turning. Those are the 'good' nights, in Yaebin's mind.

Nayoung doesn't say anything to her on the 'bad' nights. She reads in a frantic, frenzied state. She flips through the pages so fast Yaebin's scared they'll tear. Sometime later, Nayoung sets her phone aside and hugs the bible to her chest. Like she wants the words to seep into her skin and curl around her bones. She stares at the ceiling. Sometimes she cries. Quietly, because that's just one more skill every trainee has picked up and perfected over the years.

Yaebin climbs into bed with her on the bad nights. She used to just lie next to Nayoung with a healthy amount of space between them. Gradually they progress to hand-holding, loose hugging, and are now onto full-on cuddling. Yaebin is a rather clingy and physically affectionate already. But she always waits for Nayoung to initiate contact. 

Nayoung talks every now and then. About her second job, and the people she sees. She never asks for advice or answers. Yaebin would ask some questions-- what color tie, gelled hair or no hair at all, did they bring gifts; frivolous details. Nayoung is better when her mind is working and not closing in on itself.

Nayoung has wrapped herself around Yaebin's body and is almost on top of her. Her head is lying on Yaebin's chest and she can hear their steady heartbeat. Nayoung's body is stretched out to its limits as if she's afraid Yaebin will escape. But Yaebin just wraps her arms around Nayoung even tighter.

''Unnie--'' that's enough to break the spell and for Nayoung to tense. Yaebin never speaks first in these moments. ''You don't have to keep doing this. We don't need the money that much. We'll figure something out. We always do.''

Nayoung scoffs. ''You're not delusional enough to think money has nothing to do with the fact that we've been on an unofficial hiatus for almost a year now. Even after winning _three_ rookie awards in our debut year.''

''Okay,'' Yaebin hums. She's got a point there. ''But we didn't put ourselves in this situation. Our company did. You're hurting yourself for something that isn't even your fault.''

''But at least I'm doing something. Anything's better than being stuck in the practice room just _waiting_.''

The other girls were right when they said that arguing with Nayoung would be useless. ''I've talked with the others,'' Yaebin says with caution. ''We can take turns. The older ones, obviously. Divvy up the clients, share the appointments--''

''Absolutely not.'' Nayoung sounds so definite and determined and it _hurts_.

''Why? Why are you punishing yourself like this? Unnie, let us help you, _please_.'' Yaebin's voice cracks at the end and it almost convinces Nayoung to change her mind. Almost.

She brushes Yaebin's tears away with her thumb.

''Just promise me that you won't do this too,'' Nayoung murmurs into Yaebin's neck.

Thankfully, Nayoung nods off before Yaebin is forced to make promises she can't keep.

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jieqiong thinks she would have been the first pick. If she wasn't already the most popular member, anyway. And she's not being conceited in the slightest-- her schedule is so packed with individual activities she now spends more time on a plane than back in her dorm. She would forget to breathe if there wasn't a reminder on her phone that chimes every five minutes. (She's only half-kidding about that last part). But Jieqiong supposes that while she's promoting over in China, someone has to be back in Korea earning actual money. It's more common to have a two-income family these days.

She knows her looks are a huge factor here. And yeah, she did get the double eyelid surgery back in middle school but that's nothing by Korea's standards. Jieqiong's always looked mature for her age. She saw the predatory glances at her during Produce 101 tapings and I.O.I. promotions. Would've preferred more of those hooded eyes on her instead of Siyeon or Doyeon or Somi; the three of them practically children at the time. Even though she was only 18 then and not even a legal adult herself. 

She's up at 3am going through her luggage one last time. Once the manager shows up, they can head to the airport for their red-eye. She goes to sit in the living room and waits. Jieqiong sees Nayoung in the living room in one of those slinky dresses again and is about to ask when did she get back (she didn't hear the front door open) when she realizes Nayoung still has a full face of makeup and smells only of floral perfume. Ah. So Nayoung's waiting too. They exchange tired smiles before turning back to their cell phones in a vain attempt to stay awake.

''Kyla says hi,'' Nayoung mentions idly, eyes still trained on her phone screen. She's been messaging Kyla a lot these past few weeks.

Jieqiong smiles at the mere mention of their littlest one's name. ''Tell Ila that I miss her the most.''

''I already did. Don't worry.''

An unrealistic request, since it's impossible for her and the others not to worry when it comes to Nayoung and Kyla. The two girls are strikingly similar and don't even know it.

It's Nayoung's phone that buzzes first and after a quick glance, Nayoung's pulling on her flats and shrugging on her coat.

It's not Jieqiong's fault she was born with this face (excluding the eyelids, of course). Or comes from a family with enough money to send her to the most prestigious music school in Shanghai and support her living in Korea by herself at 13. Or made it through Mnet's editing relatively unscathed. She'll admit-- she's had it pretty good. Especially for a foreign idol. Anyone in entertainment knows that talent and hard work alone don't guarantee success and longevity. It's your willingness to cooperate. It's how much you want to play. And honestly, Jieqiong thinks she's _really_ good at playing the Idol Game. Really good at following the rules, saying the right things, staying within the lines. 

''Have a safe flight.'' Nayoung's out the door before Jieqiong can wish her something similar.

Jieqiong thinks back to all the legal dramas she's ever watched and wonders if witnesses can be proven guilty.

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nayoung does homework in the living room. It's late. She's exhausted. But she's in a good mood. Her appointment got canceled, the guy apparently double-booked. Her day was productive: she worked out, went to all her practices, studied some Japanese, ordered takeout, _and_ received a small payment for the sudden schedule change. How courteous of him.

She can hear someone coming down the hallway with careful steps. Probably searching for a snack or glass of water. Nayoung looks up and sees Minkyung. Minkyung likes to stay up late. Seeing her awake at this hour was hardly surprising. But the dress she was wearing--so short it was practically a shirt and a pair of too-tall heels in hand, were much more jarring.

Minkyung smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. ''The managers didn't ask. I approached them last week and asked if I could.''

Nayoung doesn't respond. Changes the subject instead. ''Do you have everything?''

Minkyung chuckles, eyes finally curving into moons. ''Yep, double-checked.'' She reaches into her bra and pulls out a pocketknife, probably swiped from Nayoung's purse earlier. An overnight bag is already tucked under the passenger seat of the van, packed with a couple changes of clothes and various toiletries and a first-aid kit. Nayoung stored it there herself. Weeks ago. Months ago now, actually.

Minkyung's phone vibrates.

Nayoung doesn't tell her to be safe. Safety is no longer achievable. ''Be careful.''

''I'll try. Get some sleep, unnie. Seriously, Yewon has a key.'' Minkyung opens the door. But still hovers in the doorway because Kim Minkyung always needs to have the last word and three more sentences on top of that. ''Unnie, don't be so hard on yourself. We'll be okay. This won't last forever.'' She finally steps outside and disappears into the night, door locking shut behind her.

Nayoung shakily exhales. Fuck, she's so stupid. So senseless. So _selfish_. How could she possibly forget the most important quality of a good leader?

_''A good leader is someone who leads by example.''_

.

 

.

 

.

 

Follow the leader.


	2. Announcement

Hello, this is ackermagg. 

As you probably know, PRISTIN has since disbanded. The official announcement from Pledis (and subsequent news articles) was posted yesterday. 

Like many HIghs, I'm heartbroken. I'm angry. I'm devastated. 

I could go on to explain in great detail why I feel this way, but twitter user @joekavaliers wrote a blog post that described exactly why PRISTIN's disbandment is such an outage to HIghs. https://antoniyuh.wordpress.com/2019/05/24/understanding-the-outrage-the-story-of-pristin/ 

So where does this leave me, and other HIghs that produce Pristin-related fan content? Personally, I still have stories and chapters in my drafts, with ideas and prompts barely touched. I'm currently attending university, and was looking forward to this summer where I could write as much as I wanted. With PRISTIN now gone, this of course changes things. But I don't want to abandon writing about the girls yet. For me, I think that writing about them will be the best outlet for me. This will be my version of mourning. And creating stories will be my dedication to them--a celebration of the amazing group that was gone far too soon. I'm not ready to say goodbye, and I honestly don't believe I ever will. PRISTIN was the first group I officially ulted, back in the summer of 2017, and I felt like I've grown up with them as I learned about K-pop and all it has to offer. 

I will still continue writing about PRISTIN. And I appreciate everyone, HIgh or not, that will continue reading my stories about them. But I completely understand and respect the HIghs that choose to stop creating and consuming PRISTIN content temporarily or all together. 

Thank you PRISTIN for existing. To Nayoung, Minkyung, Kyungwon, Yaebin, Eunwoo, Siyeon, and Kyla, I thank you for your bravery for leaving and wish you nothing the best as you embark on a brand new chapter of your life. To Jieqiong, Yewon, and Sungyeon, I thank you for your bravery for staying and wish you the best as you continue following your dreams under Pledis Entertainment. I will never stop loving and supporting all ten of these girls, even as they go on different and separate paths.

Normally I hate it when authors use chapters of their stories to make announcements, but I believe the circumstances call for this. 

We'll be all right.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ''Enjoy This Moment, Babe'' was always intended to be a one-shot story. This story is and has been completed. But this story is especially bittersweet because of the setting and focus. Nayoung is truly a leader. And a brave one too. 
> 
> I will also continue transferring my AFF works onto here.

**Author's Note:**

> NAYOUNG, I'M SORRY. Nayoung's my tall awkward mom and I love her. I've been working on this beast of a story since March, and uploaded it to AFF back in September. 
> 
> (This can also be read on AFF, same title, same username. I'm slowly uploading things from AFF onto here).


End file.
